Clickety, clackety, clickety, clickety, clackety.....oh my God...oh no.....oh God.......no, no, no.......what was I thinking.....holy shhhhh********ttttttttttt!
That was pretty much the soundtrack of me on any given roller coaster at Cedar Point (and I only went on four). Had there been video to go along with it, it would have shown me with my head down, body tensed, and eyes closed (however, you wouldn't know this because my head was practically in my lap, like I was preparing for a 1970's tornado drill in the hallway of my grade school). The video would have also been x-rated because I dropped the F-bomb so many times that Ed had to apologize to a man and his little girl for my uncontrollable behavior (sorry little girl!) while we were on the Gemini. Every souvenir photo of me taken on a ride by the park was of me, ducking, cowering, and wetting my pants. Thank goodness all you could see was my head!
Our family, along with Alex's girlfriend, Lauren, and Cameron's buddy, Tyler, travelled to Cedar Point for a quick getaway a couple of weeks ago. I went with realistic expectations, knowing I would NEVER, EVER, EVER voluntarily get on the Millenium Force or Top Thrill Dragster. Mainly because I do not like blacking out or losing control of multiple bodily functions on a regular basis. After too many rides (which for me, is about two) my brain starts to feel like it is coming loose in my head. My thrill came from watching them have fun. Sure, they kept telling me "it's safe." Hah! Tell that to the people who recently were stuck on a roller coaster in California this week when it came to a screeching halt. They were suspended on the rails for four hours.
Anyway, I set my sights on the "smaller" coasters like the Magnum, Mantis, Gemini, and forced myself to go on the Maverick. My family and their friends were total ride warriors. They all loved the thrill of these rides and some of them even waited in line extra long to sit in the front row so they could watch themselves free falling to the ground at 90 miles per hour. Apparently the thrill of defying gravity just doesn't feel the same in the third or fourth row.
I was amazed, and a little bit envious, of all the people I saw riding these coasters with such passion and bravery. I was astounded at how they could actually form thoughts in their heads and raise their arms up in the air while flying over the rails, down the hills, and through the tunnels when I couldn't even hold up my head. So many of them, my group included, had the presence of mind to mug for the camera that was posted somewhere inside one of the tunnels. You could see the variety of photos posted up on monitors (where you could purchase them for a minor fortune). Some made funny faces, some smiled for the camera, some did something obscene, like lifted their shirt or who knows what else, and their photos were promptly deleted from public viewing. One guy was able to smile and flex his muscles for the camera. I actually thought it was a great picture.
I saw slightly built, young children skipping through the exit, totally unfazed. How do they do it? Even my 9-year old nephew, Rory, is a psycho for coasters and has been his entire life. And yet, he used to be afraid to play in my basement with the other kids, when he was younger, for fear that his family would accidentally leave without him. What kind of rationalization is that? "Hmmmm.....which is scarier? Fly through the air at ridiculously high speeds and shoot back down to earth like a rocket ship, or needlessly worry about getting left at cool Aunt Becky's house to play with cousins I adore?"
Throughout the day I continued to gawk at two rides in particular with reverence. The Millennium Force, which climbs one very tall 310 foot hill, and speeds down one very steep, 80 degree drop at 93 miles per hour.
The other was the Top Thrill Dragster which, after waiting in line for over one hour, is a 17-second ride that launches you up to a speed of 120 mph in less than four seconds, climbs 420 feet at a 90 degree angle, crests, and then races back toward earth at a 270 degree spiral with a 400 foot vertical drop. Aaahhhh....good times.
It's funny what we consider scary isn't it. Some people I know would never be brave enough to paint a room in their house with a bold color, or have kids, donate blood, plant a garden, write a blog, or ride with their 15-year old son behind the wheel (now that's scary!). Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of embarrassment, fear of death.
While at the park, I quickly observed that the rides were not the only scary things. I saw many people with way too many tattoos, odd looking, ill-fitting summer outfits, and inflated park prices. A bottle of water...$3. A photo of you crapping your pants on a ride...$10. A day full of thrills, vomit spills, and shrills.....priceless.
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