The Secret to Friendliness and Fun

Did you ever notice while out on the water in a boat, fishing, drifting, tubing, cruising, how friendly everyone is? Every boatload of strangers that passes by you waves, says "hello", tips their cap, smiles, or perhaps even gives you the right of way? People being friendly, considerate, and easy going. Exchanging simple pleasantries..."how's it going?.....beautiful day, huh?....catchin' anything?"

Now, can you imagine transferring that image and attitude to people as they drive in their cars (especially in the winter), rather than in their boats in the summer? I don't think we'd even know how to react. It's interesting to note how different, yet the same, the two really are. Driving a car is a lot of "hurry up and wait" while driving a boat is more like "hurry up or wait....whatever you want....your choice."

Of course, why wouldn't you be pleasant and cheerful while out relaxing in a boat, feeling the warm sunshine on your body, drinking a beer, and keeping cool thanks to the mist of water that occasionally spritzes up in your face? The tropical smell of suntan lotion, the sounds of motors whirring and water splashing, music playing and people laughing. For most people, spending time on the water is an opportunity to get away from it all and relax. This makes us happy and friendly.

Somehow, even though this IS the Motor City, the allure of being in your car just isn't the same. Chances are, you are not doing it as a form of relaxation. You are probably going to work, school, or an unpleasant doctor or dentist appointment, or you ARE working, because you make your living by driving.

You may be running errands, going grocery shopping, picking up the dry cleaning or picking up your kid. Perhaps you're on your way to go Christmas shopping, or returning Christmas gifts. You're fighting traffic, following drivers who aren't paying attention to what they should be doing because they are too busy yapping on their cell phone, eating their lunch, or worse yet, texting.

When you're driving in your car, you're generally doing it with a "let's get down to business" attitude. I got stuff to do, I want to get there, do it, and get back in a timely manner. I have no interest in "cruising" around town and being friendly. As the commercial says "get in, get out, get on with your life."

It is fun to think about what it would be like if we could act like "boat" people while in our cars. Of course, this behavior wouldn't come easy and naturally like it does while at sea. It would take some real practice and work.

Can you imagine, sitting at a traffic light and the guy in the lane next to you or across the intersection from you turns to you and waves and smiles and raises his travel mug to you in a toast? You would be astounded and creeped out all at the same time. And yet, when boats pass each other this kind of activity happens all the time.

Perhaps, while you're filling up your gas tank, someone engages in conversation and asks "How's it going?" and all you can do is think to yourself "Do I know you?" Of course, if you were filling up your tank at the local marina, you'd be chatting away with the fellow boater next to you talking about the weather, the fishing conditions, or the ins and out of the waterways. You don't really experience much idle chatter at the gas pumps when filling up your car, like "Hey, about that Ford Rd. Whew, that is one tough roadway to navigate." Once again, you'd be thinking to yourself "Yeah, whatever dude. You're weird, quit talking to me. I don't have time for talking."

Water and sunshine, they have a magical effect on the human psyche, don't they? You know what else has a magical effect (beside chocolate!)? Music. I've said it before, that music has the ability to transport us to a special place and time in our memories, whether they are happy, sad, or bittersweet. Over the holidays, while up north with friends, we happened upon the movie "The Sound of Music." When Alex was little, that was one of his favorite movies, and even though he probably wouldn't admit it, I think he enjoyed watching parts of it again while he played cards with his manly snowboarding buddies. I know I enjoyed it, even though now I have to sing "I am 16 going on 49...." that part was a little depressing. I can remember my parents taking us kids to see that movie at the Mai Kai theater and it was a big deal for me.

Music can create such a communal attitude among people as well. I realized that when I happened to catch a snippet of something on Oprah this week. It was a repeat episode that was featuring some highlights and favorite moments of Oprah's and one of them was from her 24th season opener this past September. I really don't watch Oprah on a regular basis, however, I don't know how I could not have seen or heard about this event on TV, the web, in the paper, in a magazine, or via an email, because it was pretty cool.

What happened was, she had the Black Eyed Peas on to perform in concert in the streets of downtown Chicago, and they and her producers surprised her with a mob flash dance of over 20,000 people! If you're unfamiliar with the term, a mob flash dance is when a large number of people perform the same dance moves to a song, like a massive music video, but it happens rather subtly and unassumingly. I have seen one video via an email of people doing a mob flash dance in a train station. It's fun to watch the reaction of those who are not in on the dance and seeing their faces when they suddenly realize that something magical is going on around them.

As I watched the clip, I didn't know what was going to happen. So, being totally clueless was part of the fun. As the BEP's started to sing "I Gotta Feeling" and do their thing, I noticed (like Oprah had noticed) that there was this one chick in blue up at the very front of the stage dancing like a mad woman. Everyone around her was just standing there while she was going to town. At first, I thought "Wow. I guess she's really into it." It hadn't really dawned on me yet that no one else was dancing. Then, little by little, more groups of people started to join her in the same dance moves starting at the front of the group and moving all the way back down the multiple city blocks they engulfed. Twenty-some thousand people all doing the same moves in unison. It was sooooo cool! And, what was really fun to watch was Oprah's reaction as she realized something special was happening, all without her prior knowledge. She looked like a little kid on Christmas morning jumping up and down for joy because she just received a pony. It was fun! Then, watching the faces of the people who had just completed the dance and their sense of satisfaction of surprising her with this incredible gift was equally fun.

When they were done playing the clip, she spoke to the producer/organizer of the flash mob dance and he talked about how something magical happens when people dance, and I thought "he's right". Whether you are at a Jimmy Buffet concert acting out "Fins", a wedding doing the YMCA or the chicken, or at a country bar doing a line dance. There is something fun about dancing with strangers in a group. Somehow, they become a little less strange to you.

Some people who actually participated in the flash mob dance were in the audience and they talked about the experience. One gal said people were friendly, even though it was crowded and elbows were flying here and there, and in one portion of the dance each dancer placed their hand on the sweaty back of the person next to them as part of the routine and it was a real moment of "community" for her. She lamented that if people could be like that all the time, there'd be no fighting.

I guess this is why Ellen Degeneres always dances at the opening of her show because it makes her feel good and it's fun. I guess this is why the hit show "Glee" has become so popular, because people break out into song and dance and it's fun. And, I guess that's why we're always suckers for the macarena or the chicken dance at wedding receptions, because it's fun. For more fun, click here to see the Oprah flash dance. It will make you smile. You know why? Because it's fun!