If you ever feel the need to spend a few minutes being grossed out and wonder what it might feel like to suffer from all types of dreaded conditions, head to your local pharmacy. On Friday, I went to Meijer's to drop off a prescription for my dad and decided to wait the 10 or 15 minutes they told me it would take to fill it. Not wanting to stray too far into the store (because I can easily get distracted when killing time in a store) I decided to stay right in the pharmacy and cosmetics department.
As I perused the aisles, looking for another item I needed to pick up, I found myself growing increasingly repulsed at the products available to treat a myriad of maladies. First I came upon "gel pads for cushioning." They weren't labeled as to what they would "cushion" but I assumed it must be something on your foot. Then, next to them was something called "mole foam padding" which was for corns and calluses. I'm not even sure if it was also for moles or not, it didn't specify. A little farther down the way, my eye caught a box which read in big bold letters "Boil Ease" which was for pain relief from boils. "Eeeewwwwww, that's disgusting" I said aloud. I'm not even sure what a boil is, but it sounds like it could explode at any moment. Further down the aisle I came across creams for cracked, dry feet, "Itch-X" for intense itching (where, I'm not sure and I don't want to know), ointments and bandages for wound care, stuff for bloating, anti-diarrhea and anti-gas. "Oh my God" I thought. "I need to go kill time somewhere else, because this is killing me."
Boy, I bet some pharmacists have seen it all and could write a book about the customers they've encountered. Can you imagine the products they've sold for who-knows-what condition? It's a wonder they don't serve you wearing latex gloves and a swine-flu mask to avoid catching whatever it is you have--jock itch, lice, warts, poison ivy, hemorrhoids or god forbid, boils (whatever they are).
I'm sure they've heard it all too. Every time I get a Valtrex prescription filled for a cold sore, I can't tell you how much I want to blurt out "It's for a cold sore. See, right here on my lip? I don't have genital herpes!" But, I'm sure they'd only say "Sure, lady....whatever you say."
Such a position of trust. What a window to the world they have to look through. People buying products for such personal and intimate problems. I bet they know more secrets than some people's shrinks, priests or bartenders. And, having knowledge of all the medications an entire family is on--allergies, anxieties, infections--you wonder if they're thinking "Holy crap, that family's got issues."
Yes, I've been to the pharmacy numerous times and when you are in need of something, they're fabulous! But when you have nothing better to do than roam the aisles just for the heck of it because you're waiting for something, it can be a frightening trip. Soon, I made my way over to lip glosses and mascaras where all fears of boils and bunions were replaced with fears of dry lips and skimpy lashes.
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