Unconditional Love

Today's photo really needs to be two photos and should be labeled "Before" and "After."

This is a picture of Alex and one of his first adventures in the snow. As you can see, there wasn't scads of snow to make a snowman (notice the bare grass spots), but he and Ed managed to do it, and he was a beauty! Alex looks so proud standing next to his creation. As the day wore on, I remember that it was warming up and we knew Frosty's days were limited. Kind of like that cell phone commercial that is running on TV these days where "Snowball's phone didn't get the message about the warm up" (because he has less than stellar service) and now his nose and head are falling off.

Anyway, later in the day, it became apparent that Frosty was in need of some cosmetic surgery. So, being the wonderful optimist that he is, Ed bundled Alex back up and headed outside to get to work. The second picture makes me laugh out loud! Look at how sad that little retouched snowman looks! He looks like he went a little overboard on the latest fad diet. There's barely enough snow to scrape together for a body, his lips and one eyeball are missing, not to mention all of his buttons! He is in dire need of a haircut and the scarf, which once barely fit around his neck, hangs all the way down to his waist. Really scrappy and pathetic looking. And yet, look at Alex. He still looks just as proud to be standing next to him. Although, notice now that Ed is in the photo (Alex probably didn't want to take all the credit for this dude).

Unconditional love is something Ed and I have always tried to instill in our boys. When the going gets rough or the snowman gets ugly, don't abandon ship. We couldn't have been more proud of them when they showed us how well they had been paying attention. In the fall of 2006, Ed's dad had came home to live with us under hospice care. He had been battling cancer for a couple years prior, had some success, but in the end it proved to be too much. Bringing him home to be with us was a no-brainer. We were worried though, about how the severity of the situation and the reality of life and death in our home would affect the boys.

They were 15 and 12 at the time. But the way they welcomed "papa" home with open arms and weren't afraid to sit with him amid the oxygen tank, medical equipment, and medications was comforting. We were worried they would see him in different light. But they didn't. He was still the same papa that Alex enjoyed watching the Tigers with or Cameron enjoyed playing his violin for. We thought we would have at least few weeks with him, but in reality we only got a few days. But those few days turned out to be wonderful gift for all of us.

As parents, we are proud of our kids and their achievements, but the bottom line is that sometimes we only see them as a child who has much to learn, no matter how old they are. Then, suddenly, you realize that they have evolved into a person with skills, and talents, and maturity and you think, "what, the heck!" You find that you've grown to respect the hard work they put into school, sports, hobbies, and life in general. They understand sports and technology like nobody's business, read music like you never could and carry, move and lift anything around the house you ask them to. Yeah, they still can't keep their rooms clean, but you begin to see them in a whole new light.

Lately, we have had conversations with the boys about seeing their parents as people, not just their parents. People who have their own hopes, and dream, and feelings! And I realize that goes both ways. So today I say to you, Alex and Cameron, I see you in a new light every day and I love you unconditionally.