Let Me Be Brief

The eyes of the world are on Detroit as the arraignment of the Christmas Day terrorist attacker gets underway. As we all know by now, the young Nigerian attempted to blow up Northwest flight 253 en route to Detroit by packing chemicals into his underwear that would be used to set off an explosion. He is being indicted on charges that include using "weapons of mass destruction" and attempted murder. In short, he had WMDs in his BVDs. Thus, he has been dubbed the "Underwear Bomber."

From a practical perspective, I implore the media, can we PLEASE call him something other than the "Underwear Bomber?" I understand, the guy from a couple of years ago became known as the "Shoe Bomber" but the "Underwear Bomber" and photos of his blown out underwear in the paper and on the news keep conjuring up images of dirty underwear and burnt testicles that I don't want to think about. How about the "Boxer Bomber" or "Grundy Grenader?" Somehow, those undergarment terms don't sound as disgusting.

What's in a name? Everything. After all, wasn't there a conscious effort to change the name of the Swine Flu to the H1N1 Flu because it was giving pigs and the pork industry a bad rap? Can you imagine when word got out that pictures of this guy's underwear were being published for all the world to see? I'm sure the people at Hanes and Fruit of the Loom were holding their breath and saying "Please, please, please....don't let it be one of ours." What a marketing nightmare that would be to have to recover from. Yeah, it would be free publicity, but certainly nothing like the free publicity the outer wear company is receiving from using President Obama's photo in their Times Square advertisement. They say there is no such thing as bad publicity, but I think Tiger Woods and the boxer brand name of the "Underwear Bomber" would beg to differ.

Global Warming? Hah!

It's raining reptiles! I read that it's so cold in Florida, iguanas are falling out of the trees. Apparently, the frigid temperatures are causing the cold-blooded reptiles to become immobilized and lose their grip on the trees. To see these comatose chameleons, click here.

The Secret to Friendliness and Fun

Did you ever notice while out on the water in a boat, fishing, drifting, tubing, cruising, how friendly everyone is? Every boatload of strangers that passes by you waves, says "hello", tips their cap, smiles, or perhaps even gives you the right of way? People being friendly, considerate, and easy going. Exchanging simple pleasantries..."how's it going?.....beautiful day, huh?....catchin' anything?"

Now, can you imagine transferring that image and attitude to people as they drive in their cars (especially in the winter), rather than in their boats in the summer? I don't think we'd even know how to react. It's interesting to note how different, yet the same, the two really are. Driving a car is a lot of "hurry up and wait" while driving a boat is more like "hurry up or wait....whatever you want....your choice."

Of course, why wouldn't you be pleasant and cheerful while out relaxing in a boat, feeling the warm sunshine on your body, drinking a beer, and keeping cool thanks to the mist of water that occasionally spritzes up in your face? The tropical smell of suntan lotion, the sounds of motors whirring and water splashing, music playing and people laughing. For most people, spending time on the water is an opportunity to get away from it all and relax. This makes us happy and friendly.

Somehow, even though this IS the Motor City, the allure of being in your car just isn't the same. Chances are, you are not doing it as a form of relaxation. You are probably going to work, school, or an unpleasant doctor or dentist appointment, or you ARE working, because you make your living by driving.

You may be running errands, going grocery shopping, picking up the dry cleaning or picking up your kid. Perhaps you're on your way to go Christmas shopping, or returning Christmas gifts. You're fighting traffic, following drivers who aren't paying attention to what they should be doing because they are too busy yapping on their cell phone, eating their lunch, or worse yet, texting.

When you're driving in your car, you're generally doing it with a "let's get down to business" attitude. I got stuff to do, I want to get there, do it, and get back in a timely manner. I have no interest in "cruising" around town and being friendly. As the commercial says "get in, get out, get on with your life."

It is fun to think about what it would be like if we could act like "boat" people while in our cars. Of course, this behavior wouldn't come easy and naturally like it does while at sea. It would take some real practice and work.

Can you imagine, sitting at a traffic light and the guy in the lane next to you or across the intersection from you turns to you and waves and smiles and raises his travel mug to you in a toast? You would be astounded and creeped out all at the same time. And yet, when boats pass each other this kind of activity happens all the time.

Perhaps, while you're filling up your gas tank, someone engages in conversation and asks "How's it going?" and all you can do is think to yourself "Do I know you?" Of course, if you were filling up your tank at the local marina, you'd be chatting away with the fellow boater next to you talking about the weather, the fishing conditions, or the ins and out of the waterways. You don't really experience much idle chatter at the gas pumps when filling up your car, like "Hey, about that Ford Rd. Whew, that is one tough roadway to navigate." Once again, you'd be thinking to yourself "Yeah, whatever dude. You're weird, quit talking to me. I don't have time for talking."

Water and sunshine, they have a magical effect on the human psyche, don't they? You know what else has a magical effect (beside chocolate!)? Music. I've said it before, that music has the ability to transport us to a special place and time in our memories, whether they are happy, sad, or bittersweet. Over the holidays, while up north with friends, we happened upon the movie "The Sound of Music." When Alex was little, that was one of his favorite movies, and even though he probably wouldn't admit it, I think he enjoyed watching parts of it again while he played cards with his manly snowboarding buddies. I know I enjoyed it, even though now I have to sing "I am 16 going on 49...." that part was a little depressing. I can remember my parents taking us kids to see that movie at the Mai Kai theater and it was a big deal for me.

Music can create such a communal attitude among people as well. I realized that when I happened to catch a snippet of something on Oprah this week. It was a repeat episode that was featuring some highlights and favorite moments of Oprah's and one of them was from her 24th season opener this past September. I really don't watch Oprah on a regular basis, however, I don't know how I could not have seen or heard about this event on TV, the web, in the paper, in a magazine, or via an email, because it was pretty cool.

What happened was, she had the Black Eyed Peas on to perform in concert in the streets of downtown Chicago, and they and her producers surprised her with a mob flash dance of over 20,000 people! If you're unfamiliar with the term, a mob flash dance is when a large number of people perform the same dance moves to a song, like a massive music video, but it happens rather subtly and unassumingly. I have seen one video via an email of people doing a mob flash dance in a train station. It's fun to watch the reaction of those who are not in on the dance and seeing their faces when they suddenly realize that something magical is going on around them.

As I watched the clip, I didn't know what was going to happen. So, being totally clueless was part of the fun. As the BEP's started to sing "I Gotta Feeling" and do their thing, I noticed (like Oprah had noticed) that there was this one chick in blue up at the very front of the stage dancing like a mad woman. Everyone around her was just standing there while she was going to town. At first, I thought "Wow. I guess she's really into it." It hadn't really dawned on me yet that no one else was dancing. Then, little by little, more groups of people started to join her in the same dance moves starting at the front of the group and moving all the way back down the multiple city blocks they engulfed. Twenty-some thousand people all doing the same moves in unison. It was sooooo cool! And, what was really fun to watch was Oprah's reaction as she realized something special was happening, all without her prior knowledge. She looked like a little kid on Christmas morning jumping up and down for joy because she just received a pony. It was fun! Then, watching the faces of the people who had just completed the dance and their sense of satisfaction of surprising her with this incredible gift was equally fun.

When they were done playing the clip, she spoke to the producer/organizer of the flash mob dance and he talked about how something magical happens when people dance, and I thought "he's right". Whether you are at a Jimmy Buffet concert acting out "Fins", a wedding doing the YMCA or the chicken, or at a country bar doing a line dance. There is something fun about dancing with strangers in a group. Somehow, they become a little less strange to you.

Some people who actually participated in the flash mob dance were in the audience and they talked about the experience. One gal said people were friendly, even though it was crowded and elbows were flying here and there, and in one portion of the dance each dancer placed their hand on the sweaty back of the person next to them as part of the routine and it was a real moment of "community" for her. She lamented that if people could be like that all the time, there'd be no fighting.

I guess this is why Ellen Degeneres always dances at the opening of her show because it makes her feel good and it's fun. I guess this is why the hit show "Glee" has become so popular, because people break out into song and dance and it's fun. And, I guess that's why we're always suckers for the macarena or the chicken dance at wedding receptions, because it's fun. For more fun, click here to see the Oprah flash dance. It will make you smile. You know why? Because it's fun!

Bless Me Father....

...for I have erred greatly! Thanks to Aunt Mary (a wise and well-schooled catholic woman) and the internet, I have been enlightened on the origins of the immaculate conception and Jesus' birth. However, in all fairness, I only attended catholic school up until the beginning of seventh grade, when we moved and Aunt Mary attended all through high school and into college. Nonetheless, I'm sure my grade school nuns are rolling over in their graves as I type.

As it turns out, the immaculate conception doesn't even have anything to do with Jesus (even though he was immaculately conceived), rather, it has to do with Mary. According to www.gotquestions.org, the immaculate conception is a doctrine, or an official statement, of the Roman Catholic church that is the belief that "Mary did not have a sin nature and was, in fact, sinless."

The website goes on to say, however, that one problem with this doctrine is that is not taught in the bible (maybe that's why I didn't know this!) The bible really only refers to Jesus being without sin. However, people started wondering, how can Jesus be without sin if he was born in a sinful woman. Thus, the need to create a sinless Mary. If Mary is a sinner, then that means Jesus is a sinner. The bible's solution to this problem is addressed by declaring that Jesus was "miraculously protected from being polluted by sin" while in Mary's womb. To which some argue, "well what's up with that?" If he could protect Jesus from sin, why couldn't he protect Mary, thus eliminating the need for her to be immaculate? Also, what about Mary's mom and grandma? In order for Mary to be immaculate, THEY would have to be immaculate.

The website goes on to explain that the doctrine is neither biblical nor necessary. Jesus was miraculously conceived inside Mary, who was a virgin at the time. The bible doesn't even hint that there was something special about Mary's conception, rather it only teaches the miraculous conception of Jesus Christ. I may be opening up a whole new can of worms here, but I believe that happened when an angel visited her. To which Joseph replied "what?" upon hearing that explanation.

Anyhow, that's today's lesson on Maryology (yes it's a real word), which is the theological study of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Suffice it to say, Mary was not pregnant for a mere three weeks or even three months.

Check back next week, when we will once again be discussing Rebeccaology, the study of Rebecca, the mother of Alex and Cameron.

A New Day Has Come

It was a year ago today, December 14, that I published my first post on this blog. It featured a picture of Alex kissing his newborn brother over 15 years ago. Today I have another newborn to feature, and his name is Noah David. He was born to our niece Jyl and her husband, Paul. He is their third child....third boy....third blessing.

He was born last Monday, December 7. The day before the Immaculate Conception holy day. Which got me to thinking.....did Mary conceive Jesus on December 8 and then give birth to him on December 25, because I bet Jyl would have loved a speedy pregnancy like that! As a girl who went to catholic school from grade one through grade seven, I should know these answers. I was watching a show the other night and a character on the show kept saying that technically, Jesus was born in March and that's when we should be celebrating Christmas. So, again, does that mean Mary conceived Jesus in December and gave birth to him in March? Because three months is still pretty attractive, compared to nine months. Can you imagine if that were the case? Although, I don't know. Having a baby in three months really wouldn't be a good thing for people like Octomom and Michelle Duggar, who just had her 19th child. If they only had to endure a three month pregnancy, they'd probably have double the amount of kids than they do now due to shorter waiting times. Wow, I just realized they each have more kids than Jesus had disciples.

Anyway, as I recall, being pregnant is an awesome and exciting experience....for about the first four, five, six months. Then after that things get very crowded in there and you start feeling incredibly crabby and uncomfortable. You begin to feel like you have a tumor or an alien growing inside of you and all you can do is think "get it out, get it out, get it out!" You liken it to a house guest who has overstayed their welcome.

And then, when the baby is good and ready, he arrives. He is perfect, and sweet, and you stare at him with wonder. You think, how could such a tiny, helpless person have caused so much discomfort to your bladder at all hours of the day and night? You feel like you could stare at him forever. You are amazed at the beauty of this gift and then you realize "I made this" and you feel overwhelmed with pride and love. So innocent and pure.

Then, before you know it, this awesome gift turns two and you start asking "who's child is this and why won't he listen to me?" I wonder if Mary ever thought that. On second thought, that's probably where that song "What Child is This?" comes from. Do you think Jesus went through the terrible twos? I mean, we don't really hear about the early, early years of Jesus' childhood. Do you suppose when they sat at the dinner table and Mary asked him to sit back down and finish his vegetables, he said "I don't have to, I'm the Messiah." To which Mary replied "I don't care if you're the Lamb of God. Sit your butt down and eat your broccoli!" As Jesus grew older and realized he had a special talent, I wonder why he didn't opt to multiply dessert instead of fishes and loaves of bread to feed the hungry masses and declare "Cookies for everyone!"

Oh dear, I can feel myself burning in hell already for asking these questions.

These are certainly difficult times we are living in. War, economic hardships, and what seems to me, an overall loss in faith, goodness, and humanity. Some of the biggest stories this year involved people who, betrayed their own families due to their need for attention--Octomom, Governor Mark Sanford, Balloon Boy parents, and now Tiger Woods.

This time of year we look to the Christmas season as a way to regain our feelings of hope, love, and forgiveness. We need Christmas. By the end of the year, we are so burned out that we need to be rejuvenated. The birth of a baby, whether it's Jesus or your nephew, sure helps you remember the good things about the world. For every selfish loser, there is a kind and giving winner. For every thing imperfect, there is something perfect, if only til they turn two.

You put all your dreams and high hopes onto a baby. You wish for them all things possible, because frankly in this day and age, it is possible. Medical miracles, educational opportunities, and the ability to discover the world at the click of a mouse.

For my family alone, 2009 has been marked with ups and downs. The loss of a job after 20 years of service for Ed. The high school graduation of our first born with successful entry into college. A driver's permit for our second born (yikes!), a twenty-year wedding anniversary for Ed and me, health care issues and surgeries for my parents, a heart attack for my brother, and the birth of a beautiful, healthy nephew. Overall, we have been blessed. Ed successfully found work as a contractor and now has been hired as a full-time employee by another firm. My parents have come through each of their health care issues with flying colors. My brother had a scare, but has been given a second chance. A new day, rebirth for many of us, in more ways than one.